There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the Guillotine.P. G. Wodehouse
Politeness is like an air-cushion—there may be nothing in it, but it eases our jolts wonderfully.P. G. Wodehouse
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead pipingP. G. Wodehouse
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.P. G. Wodehouse
You would be miserable if you had to go through life with a human doormat with 'Welcome' written on it in the old English lettering.P. G. Wodehouse
The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.P. G. Wodehouse
I was left alone with the sinking sun, and a cropped grass moaning in the blast.P. G. Wodehouse
In this life it is not aunts that matter but the courage which one brings to them.P. G. Wodehouse
There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little.P. G. Wodehouse
You will find as you grow older that the first thing needed for happiness is to be a good animal.P. G. Wodehouse
Even when one is no longer attached to things, it's still something to have been attached to them; because it was always all right.P. G. Wodehouse
A sort of gulpy, gurgly, plobby, squishy, wofflesome sound, like a thousand eager men drinking soup in a foreign restaurant. The noise of the free lunchers, so to speak.P. G. Wodehouse