When we understand love as the will to nurture our own and another's spiritual growth, it becomes clear that we cannot claim to love if we are hurtful and abusive.bell hooks
In patriarchal culture men are especially inclined to see love as something they should receive without expending effort.bell hooks
The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves.bell hooks
Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.bell hooks
The word 'love' is often used as an expression of senseless emotional reaction rather than one of thought-out, well-informed, affirmative choice.bell hooks
Abuse and neglect negate love. Care and affirmation, the opposite of abuse and humiliation, are the foundation of love. No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively.bell hooks
Many of us seek community only when we have all other options are unavailable, then wonder why configurations of community tend to lack passionate and powerful emotional bonds.bell hooks
Mutual growth and development are fostered in a love relationship when we have the courage to hold one individual as fundamentally important in our lives.bell hooks
Choosing love we also choose to live in community and communion, linking self, others, and the world around us.bell hooks
Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.bell hooks