Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.David Sedaris
She held the baby lamb in her arms; it was cold out, but she did not shiver.David Sedaris
It's records like this that make you wish stereo equipment came with pants.David Sedaris
What's the trick to remembering that a sandwich is masculine? What qualities does it share with anyone waving his member in my face?David Sedaris
I haven't the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.David Sedaris
It struck me then that, for her, the house was nothing but a glorified coat hanger.David Sedaris
Every gathering has its moment. As an adult, I distract myself by trying to identify it, dreading the inevitable downswing that is sure to follow.David Sedaris
His sitters become, to him, his soloists. A painter of still life, he'd positioned each object with an architect's precision, allowing the one to lean on the other and thereby form a larger whole.David Sedaris
The genius of the costume lay not in its thrift, but in its certainty. Assuming the other kids could read, there was no question what we were.David Sedaris
The upsetting part was not the hike so much as the suspense. Everything could go wrong, or it might just as easily wind up the perfect day. There was no telling, and that's what wore me out, the constant, relentless possibility.David Sedaris