Democracy is like a tambourine - not everyone can be trusted with it.Jon Stewart
I celebrate this nation's diversity and I honor it...as long as it doesn't pick its nose, marry its cousin, or try to convert me.Jon Stewart
Two things have been consistently proven about our political process: 1) Money wins elections. 2) Poor people don't have money.Jon Stewart
America: a melting pot where nothing melted.Jon Stewart
Is democracy fair? Let's put it this way: wolves and lambs rarely agree on the definition of fairness.Jon Stewart
The Supreme Court: Where the real decisions are made...at least until a bunch of rich old men in Congress change them.Jon Stewart
Democracy may not be perfect, but at least it's not...whatever North Korea's doing.Jon Stewart
If voters cared about their representatives' behavior, Congress would be, for starters, entirely different people.Jon Stewart
If we are indeed a Christian nation, much of our politics makes Christ look like a complete pussy.Jon Stewart
We live in an age of instant knowledge. And there's almost a sense of entitlement to that.Jon Stewart
That's what kills me about the NRA and all their ilk; they're like, 'It's my Constitutional right!' And I'm like, 'Yeah, but you're not being responsible with it.'Jon Stewart
Government isn't just another word for the things we do together. It's the things we do together that work.Jon Stewart